GWYGH, Ep. 001: A Good Smart Girl (Janine's Notes)

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In our first episode, we watched Crossroads (2002) starring Britney Spears. While watching the movie, Janine took notes on the plot as it progressed. Basically, these notes are a stream of consciousness as Janine watched this movie, some of it copied from messages that she sent Kate during her torture. 

  • They bury a box in the beginning
  • Which seems scarily like a funeral scene
  • They’re both lying to their parents about where they are
  • Pack it down so the cadaver dogs can’t find it
  • We wished to be friends forever but it didn’t come true

 

  • This music sounds 80s
  • You’re too perfect to bump into anybody? Yup, that’s a thing teenagers say
  • Oh no, she never went to a football game. Well, neither did I. granted, my school didn’t have football, but. Yeah.

 

  • Why is mimi wearing a backpack
  • Kit we made a pact, remember? Yeah a blood pact.
  • “I heard he just got out of jail. Killed a guy.” well that’s what i look for in men
  • Why is prom on graduation night, as kate pointed out? And why would they let a murderer play the band there?

 

  • Their reasons for having sex is a list? And one is that they’re lab partners
  • I mean if your lab partner was britney spears…

 

  • They dig back up the corpse to remember their crimes
  • “I have a pretty good voice!” she says, with her lisp
  • Yeah it’s getting late, i gotta get back to my lab partner

 

  • “Dad can i ask you a question? It’s about mother.” wtf. Who just says mother.

 

  • 90s are back in style but bucket hats arent. They can’t be. I won’t let it happen
  • They just accept that a random fucking dude named ben is driving them across the country
  • And he’s the murderer from the prom?!!?!?
  • Sleeping in a goddamn field with a MURDERER like that’s OKAY?!
  • She just has a calculator? Like in her pocket?
  • “So he may have killed someone” like that’s just okay
  • “Here is something you can’t understand - how i could just kill a man” - this is what murders listen to, right?

 

  • They’re pretty calm for smoke coming out of the car
  • Angry at the pregnant woman for being hungry - not a good look
  • Zoe is not good at a country accent

 

  • So they go to a bar to win some money
  • By NOT stripping apparently just by doing karaoke
  • Because this movie was going dangerously into coyote ugly territory
  • “It’s all the tips we can get!” but again, gotta stress this, NOT STRIPPING
  • A real fucking DJ for karaoke? Why? Wtf and he fucking sucks he just scratches
  • Did britney bedazzle her shirt backstage? And her hair was awful
  • He elbows someone in the face cause the murderer in him is coming out

 

  • Drinking BOONES farm jesus
  • Body positivity???
  • And a RAPE plot?!
  • It’s very shonda rhimes
  • It makes so much sense when you think about that

 

  • Why is this movie so empty? Like there are no cars around
  • This movie is just a karaoke music video for britney spears

 

  • Do what he says cause he might murder you
  • You ever get so angry to pull off to the side of the road, kick some dirt, and throw a rock?
  • “It’s my car, it’s the one thing not taken over by chicks” wtf dude
  • Shonda rhimes pulls out all the stops with the subplots
  • "What in the hell were you thinking getting into a car with a homicidal maniac?" MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

 

  • You can’t just camp wherever you want that’s not allowed this could be protected lands
  • Poetry time with britney spears
  • She was reciting one of her songs actually

 

  • Her mom like awkwardly forgets her name
  • "why do you keep saying my name like that?" "because otherwise i'll forget it"
  • She comes back to the hotel soaked to the bone with rain and mimi is like “oh at least you got to see your mom, right?” read the fucking room, mimi
  • “You have us?” you know, the girls you didn’t even like until 3 days ago

 

  • Shonda rhimes, our lady of plot twists
  • Fucking shonda!!!!!! ZOE’S BOYFRIEND IS THE DUDE WHO RAPED MIMI
  • Now there’s a miscarriage plot line
  • Because, shonda
  • Grey’s started in 2005 so this was practice for her

 

  • They bury a new box. The ritual begins anew